THREE DOLLAR FARCE

                               (1956 Elections)
                      (All tunes from Three Penny Opera)


Oh, this country has a system
That the big boys run, you see,
They're divided into parties,
Tweedledum and Tweedledee.

On the sidewalks of the city
There's a billboard? "I like Ike."
There's another, "Vote for Adlai",
But to me they look alike.

Oh, we haven't got much choice, dear
Heads' they win and tails we lose,
Come and see just what I mean, dear,
If you're not too full of booze.


(re Christian Herder nomination
   for Vice President)

I used to believe, in the days I
  was straight,
(And I was straight, like you used
  to be),
Some day would come along the
  perfect candidate,
And his nomination would all depend
  on me.
If he was a fine man, a Chris-tian,
If he'd be gallant and treat me
  like a statesman,
Then I'd tell him, "You're my man."
Virtue high! Morality up to the sky.
Don't relax, be hard as brick,
Look--the moon will shine till dawn,
While the convention's going on
  and on,
You stay upright as a stick.
Oh, you can't just let a party walk
  all over you,
If you don't want the country up a
Such a whole lot of terrible things
  can happen,
So you firmly say, but sweetly,
  "No Dick." 


Hodge's in jail and Powell's in
And Nixon's out campaigning.
The boys have left us in the lurch
And it's dull because it's raining.

Let's go make Mamie,
Her old man's gamey,
He's with his golf pals on the tee,
Then we'll go wake up Tom
And have him drop a bomb,
A really nice explosion
In the Pacific Ocean
To see if it's as lethal
As it's cracked up to be!

Adam's busy getting a mink
And Benson's counting hogs,
Dulles is hovering on the brink
And Wilson's gone to the dogs.



Instead of, instead of
Having their own candidates and
They vote for us, they vote for us,
Thinking we're the party that is
  sentimental 'bout them ---
We've got the moon over Texas,
We've got the labor and liberal votes,
We've got that "Anywhere you go, I
  will go with you",
For the wool-pulling Roosevelt myth
  pulls them in.


There was a time, but now that all is
When I depended on the working class,
To do the job of setting all men free
Until I got in high society.
And now I kind of like the role I play
Mixing with big-shots day by lovely
And just in case those workers want
To be free, I see to it that they
  depend on me.

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